How to win friends and influence people | D. Carnegie

"If you wish to get most out of this book there is one indispensable requirement: A deep driving desire to learn!"

Basically this book makes you aware of how to deal with people and how to get the most out of them, BUT said that: Not in the way that you manipulate them and say things they want to hear.

It is more about making you aware of what you already know but sometimes cannot express. It is a matter of being sincere and to try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view. Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain - and most fools do, but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. A great man shows his greatness by the wax he treats little man.

Some principles I kept in mind are:

1. Give honest and sincere appreciation
2. Smile
3. Remember that persons name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
4. Be a good listener
5. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
6. Let the other person save face

Also the book gives some example of people great people and what they have to say about dealing with people:

"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people. The greatest asset I possess and the way to develop the best that is in a person is appreciation and encouragment. I never critize anyone. I believe in giving incentive to work." - Charles Schwab.

BUT: Flattery will do you more harm than good. The difference between appreciation and flattery? One is sincere and the other one is insincere, one comes from the heart, the other one from the teeth! Show respect for the other persons opinion. Never say you are wrong.

Anyway it is always necessary to bait the hook to suite the fish I guess ;-)

H. Ford: "If there is any one secrect of success? It lies in the ability to get the others persons point of view and see things from that persons angle as well as from your own."

So what about to be critized instead of critize someone else. Distrust your frist instinctive impression - natural is to be defensive / keep calm, watch out for your first reaction - it maybe your worst not your best. When one yells the other one should listen - because when two people yell, there is no communication.

REMEMBER: You can measure the size of a person by what makes him angry.

Some other neat quotes:

"A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still"

"Welcome to a disagreement. When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary"

"You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him to find it within himself" - Galileo

"Be wiser than other people, but do not tell them so." Chesterfield

"I judge people by their own principles not by my own"

tj